How to maintain purity in a relationship

Purity in Dating: The Biblical Blueprint for Wholesome Relationships

Dating in the modern era is an intricate tapestry of emotions, expectations, and challenges. For Christians, woven amidst this tapestry is the vital thread of purity—a principle not just rooted in avoiding physical intimacy but centered on the very essence of our heart and spirit. Let’s journey through the scriptures to uncover the depth of purity and offer practical guidelines for maintaining it in relationships.


The Scriptural Concept of Purity

  • In biblical context, purity is multifaceted.
  • It’s not just about abstaining from sexual activities before marriage but also about the purity of heart, thoughts, intentions, and actions.
  • Matthew 5:8 beautifully encapsulates this: “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” This verse highlights that purity allows us to draw nearer to God, to experience Him more deeply.
  • 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 underscores the importance of bodily purity, “Flee sexual immorality! Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.”
  • From these scriptures, we understand that purity is both an external and internal principle that aligns us closer to God’s purpose.

Why Purity in Dating is Important

  1. Deepening Spiritual Connection:
    • Purity, both of heart and body, allows couples to foster a deeper spiritual connection, free from distractions.
  2. Protection from Emotional Baggage:
    • Physical intimacy can lead to powerful emotional bonds.
    • In dating, prematurely forming such bonds can cloud judgment and lead to emotional entanglements.
  3. Honoring God:
    • God calls us to live lives that glorify Him.
    • By upholding purity, we honor God and the sanctity of the relationship
    • He has blessed us with.
  4. Building Trust:
    • Purity fosters trust.
    • When both partners are committed to purity, it cultivates a foundation of mutual respect and understanding.

Practical Tips for Staying Pure in a Relationship

  1. Dive into the Word:
    • Make scripture reading and meditation a regular habit.
    • The word of God is a guiding light.
    • Psalm 119:9 poses the question, “How can a young man keep his way pure?” and responds with, “By living according to your word.”
  2. Pray Together:
    • Incorporate shared prayer time.
    • It can serve as a powerful reminder of your mutual commitment to purity and God’s will for your relationship.
  3. Set Clear Boundaries:
    • Discuss boundaries openly with your partner.
    • Be specific about what is off-limits, ensuring both of you are on the same page.
  4. Avoid Tempting Situations:
    • Be aware of situations that might lead to temptations.
    • It could be specific locations, times of day, or particular activities.
    • By being proactive, you mitigate potential pitfalls.
  5. Stay Accountable:
    • Share your commitment to purity with a trusted friend, mentor, or spiritual leader.
    • Having someone to hold you accountable can be a valuable support system.
  6. Remember the ‘Why’:
    • In moments of temptation, remind yourself and each other why you chose the path of purity.
    • Revisiting the reasons can rekindle your commitment.
  7. Seek Counseling if Necessary:
    • If you find maintaining purity particularly challenging, don’t hesitate to seek Christian counseling or join a support group.
  8. Celebrate Milestones:
    • Celebrate the moments and milestones where you’ve successfully navigated challenges together.
    • Recognizing these victories can be motivating.

Purity in dating is a beautiful journey of honoring God, nurturing a wholesome relationship, and safeguarding one’s spirit and emotions. In a world where instant gratification often overshadows long-term blessings, choosing purity is a counter-cultural but deeply rewarding path. Embrace purity not as a set of rules but as a joyful expression of love—love for God, for your partner, and for the sacred bond you’re nurturing. As you tread this path, let God’s word be your compass, guiding every step, decision, and moment.

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